While the holiday season brings us cheer, it also brings with it a whole slew of not-so-good things.
Stores are crowded. Your bank account is drained. Distant family members (like your casually racist Uncle Cal) start popping up out of the woodwork and, in addition, social media becomes almost unbearable.
During the holiday season, everyone wants to appear to be in good spirits and full of holiday cheer, so they attempt to stock their social media feeds with “festive” things — you know, pictures of their tree, pictures of their infant nephews, pictures of their Christmas goose… you get the idea.
However, instead of brightening the spirits of their followers, seeing enough of these types of holiday clichés over social media actually can be a little, well, annoying.
Allow me to explain:
1. “Checking into the gym!” after New Years
Sure, for the first week after New Years, people may update their Facebook statuses to show them “checking in” to their local fitness centers — or post Instagrams of their morning juice (where they managed to fit a red Lululemon bag into the purview of their iPhone lens) — but how long will this devotion to fitness actually last?
My guess? Mid-to-late January, at best. So, while it might be frustrating to watch people feign enthusiasm over a cardio regimen that will probably not see the likes of February, it’s important to look on the bright side — at least you won’t have to deal with this BS for too much longer.
2. “New Year, new me”
New Year, new you? Eh. I doubt it.
If there’s some aspect about your personality or behavior that you didn’t rectify at any point during the months of 2015, I doubt the fact that a flip of the calendar will suddenly be the impetus for you to change your ways.
Nevertheless, once the end of December rolls around, social media will be flooded with countless users’ oaths to become a “new me.” It’s usually not long before you come to the realization that none of these people have changed one iota in the new year.
3. People announcing their engagements
“Oh, well, thank you (insert name of some vague acquaintance you were cordial with back in high school). I appreciate the immense amount of consideration you displayed by announcing to all of Facebook that you’re engaged. I’m not entirely sure how I would’ve possibly been able to carry on this holiday season, had I not gained this knowledge.”
4. Redundant photographs of snow
To be rather frank, I’m not a fan of pictures of snow — especially on social media. Here’s the deal, guys, all photographs of snow sort of…I don’t know…look exactly the f*cking same. So after that first winter flurry, when I go to scroll through Twitter — I don’t really need to see 75 percent of my timeline alerting me that it did, in fact, snow.
5. Photos of sh*t people baked
By looks of their social media pages, everyone seems to become a world class baker around the holidays. Whether it’s Christmas cookies or Hanukkah latkes, many people love to flaunt their own culinary creations on Instagram — under a nice, subtle 60 percent Jefe filter — for the rest of their network to gaze at.
Here’s my commentary on the whole situation: Unless you’re baking something that Giada De Laurentiis herself would deem worthy of a “like” on Instagram, please refrain from posting it to social media.
While we’re all very proud of you ‚ and the fact that you managed to place each pre-cut chunk of cookie dough onto a tray and into the oven — it’s just a bit played out this time of year.
6. Thankful year-end Facebook statuses about “how much you’ve changed”
Ok, I sincerely love the people who take it upon themselves to write long, elaborate statuses of thanks to their Facebook friends (most of whom they’ve never met) for helping them grow so much over the past year, therefore becoming the model human they are today.
Just playing — these types of statuses actually make me want to rip my eyelashes out.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of gratitude — honestly, I think that’s what many of us, today, are missing — however, there’s a time and a place for everything…and quite frankly, Facebook, around New Years, ain’t it.